Christian Motherhood
May 10, Anno Domini 2009
There are few aspects of the Christian way of understanding the world that have been more fiercely assaulted in recent years than the family, and few aspects of the family that have been as viciously attacked as the exalted place that Scripture gives to motherhood.
I hope that my message today will prove to be an encouragement to mothers, to help you gain or to recover a cheerful vision of your calling.
To do this, I want to look at three women in Scripture in order to see what we can learn about what it means to be a faithful Christian mother.
Hannah
The first woman we will consider is Hannah. We find her story in 1 Samuel. There are a couple of things about her that I want to point out as worthy imitation. First, she was a woman who earnestly desired to have children (1 Sam. 1:1-20). And here let me say that it’s a natural thing for a woman to desire to have children.
Now, two generations ago this would have been a needless thing to say. It would have been too obvious to require any mention. But we don’t live at the beginning of the 20th century any longer; we live at the beginning of the 21st; and what was too obvious to be mentioned then, needs to be clearly stated now.
It is natural for a woman to desire to have children.
This needs to be stated clearly because women today are often made to feel that this desire has to be suppressed; and they feel this way because of the widespread influence of feminist propaganda. Women are often taught that being a wife and a mother is a lowly calling. This sometimes takes some pretty radical forms. Nearly a hundred years ago, Lenin* said,
“We must now say proudly and without any exaggeration that a part from Soviet Russia, there is not a country in the world where women enjoy full equality and where women are not placed in the humiliating position felt particularly in day-to-day family life.”
Humiliating position? Really?
(Lenin continues) “This is one of our first and most important tasks... Housework is the most unproductive, the most barbarous and the most arduous work a woman can do.”
He’s right on one point, at least. Housework is the most arduous work a woman can do. But is it really barbarous? Or unproductive? It’s unproductive perhaps in terms of manufactured goods, or immediate earning potential. But it is hardly unproductive in terms of the environment it creates for the development of a child’s mind and character. It has always been one of the major faults of communists to evaluate everything in terms of its economic impact, as if this is the only important thing in life.
“Housework,” Lenin says, “is exceptionally petty and does not include anything that would in any way promote the development of the woman... The building of socialism will begin only when we have achieved the complete equality of women and when we undertake the new work together with women who have been emancipated from that petty, stultifying, unproductive work...”
Enough already!
“We are setting up model institutions, dining-rooms and nurseries, that will emancipate women from housework...”
Children are being taken out of the home and being “cared” for in institutions.
“These institutions that liberate women from their position as household slaves are springing up where it is in any way possible...”
He also said,
“The chief thing is to get women to take part in socially productive labor [he means labor that benefits society as a whole, rather than labor that benefits the family specifically], to liberate them from ‘domestic slavery,’ to free them from their stupefying and humiliating subjugation to the eternal drudgery of the kitchen and the nursery.”
Why does he assume house work to be eternal drudgery, a form of domestic slavery? This seems rather chauvinistic, doesn’t it? Because he can’t imagine how a woman who loves her husband and children might find a sense of calling and fulfillment in it, therefore it can’t be fulfilling?
Any repetitive work can seem like drudgery. Would Lenin have a woman change one form of “drudgery” for another—the drudgery of the kitchen and nursery for the drudgery of the factory? Is he serious?
Housework only seems like drudgery until she remembers who she’s doing it for. We naturally love to serve the people we love. This service is going to look different between men and women. Men typically are going to serve their wives and children by laboring in the work force and bringing home their pay in order to provide for their families. Women, typically, are going to serve their husbands and children by managing the home.
This doesn’t mean, of course, that a woman cannot be engaged in economically productive labor. The Proverbs 31 woman is praised because she “makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant” (v. 24). And “she perceives that her merchandise is profitable” (v. 18). What she does in this regard, however, does not impede the attention she gives to the home.
Lenin’s rantings are rather overt ways in which motherhood is looked denigrated, and you might be tempted to say that they are not representative of society’s opinion as a whole. I mean, after all, that’s Lenin, in the Soviet Union. It’s not the United States. But the leaders of the feminist movement in the United States have taken a very similar view. Foregoing a career for the sake of being a full time wife and mother is simply not thought of as being very worthwhile. The thought is that she is not really living up to her full potential if she’s “only” a wife and mother.
This is often expressed in subtle ways:
Teacher: Katie, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Katie: I want to be a doctor.
Teacher: Oh, that’s wonderful! Good for you! And Amy, what about you? What to do you want to be?
Amy: I want to be lawyer.
Teacher: Oh, that’s fantastic! And Julie, how about you?
Julie: I want to be the first woman president.
Teacher: That’s great! Go for it! And Sally, what do you want to do?
Sally: I want to be a wife and mother.
Teacher: [In a condescending tone]“Well, isn’t that nice?”
It’s sad, but this is often how a girl’s desire to be a wife and mother is treated.
There is nothing at all wrong with the desire to have children; it’s a desire that ought to be recognized and encouraged; this is how God made you; don’t try to suppress the desire because of the world’s false standards concerning what a woman ought to be—what she ought to aspire to. How many young women feel pressured to forgo the pursuit of marriage and family in order to pursue a career because they’ve been told ad nauseum that they ought to, that they ought to aspire to something “higher” than to be a wife and mother.
We ought to recognize also that although it is natural for women to desire to have children, some women are unable to do so. And for many this is a source of great heartache and pain, not unlike the grief one experiences with the death of a child. This is something we ought to be sensitive to and sympathize with. It is a very real and legitimate grief, as we saw in the case of Hannah.
To those of you who may find yourself in this position I would say, simply, pray like Hannah prayed; and if you are still unable to conceive, trust that the Lord has a good purpose in it.
And I would say, too, to you men, that you ought not to be unaware of this desire, or think of it a small thing. A husband ought not to deny his wife the ability to fulfill this God-given purpose for her creation. The Lord is seeking godly offspring, we’re told in Malachi (Mal. ). This is why he made the two, one. And when a woman desires to have children (especially a Christian woman, desiring to raise godly children), then her desires are lining up with God’s will; and men, if we find ourselves dragging our feet, maybe we are the ones with the messed up priorities.
Secondly, we see that Hannah dedicated her child to the Lord (1 Samuel -28). So ought every Christian mother and father to dedicate their children to God. It will look differently today, of course, but the principle is the same—that we see our children as belonging to God, and that we raise them accordingly.
Mary
The next woman in Scripture that I would like to point out as a woman whose character makes her an exemplary mother is Mary, the mother of our Lord (Luke 1:26-38)
Mary was wholly devoted to doing the will of the Lord. Her situation, as an unmarried pregnant woman, would of course expose her to shame and embarrassment. No one would believe her story if she were to tell it; but she gave herself up to the will of the Lord anyway, even though she would be thought immoral. In fact, you remember that Joseph intended to divorce her because he thought she had been immoral (you can’t blame him; nothing like this had ever happened before). But consider how she expressed a humble resignation to the will of the Lord. Actually, that’s not the best way of putting it. It wasn’t merely resignation, but rejoicing in the will of the Lord: “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior” (Lk. -47).
Everything we see of Mary suggests she was a woman of uncommon virtue and devotion to God, and we can be sure that this expressed itself in the way in which she fulfilled her calling of being the mother of Christ
Ladies, the best thing you can do for your husband and your children, the first prerequisite for being a good wife and mother, is to be devoted to God—to express the same commitment Mary expressed when she said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” (Lk. 1:38).
Eunice
The third woman in Scripture I would point out as one whose mothering is worthy of imitation, is Eunice, the mother of Timothy. We find her mentioned in 2 Timothy 1:3-5.
In the first place, notice the line. Nothing is mentioned about Timothy’s father or grandfather, only his mother and grandmother. We know from the book of Acts that Timothy’s mother was a devout and godly Jewish woman, but that his father was a Greek (Acts 16:1). How his mother came to marry his father, a faithful Jewish woman married to a Gentile man, we’re not told. My guess is that her father (Timothy’s grandfather), was not particularly faithful and had arranged her marriage for her, probably over the objections of her godly mother, Lois. But the thing to notice is that a godly heritage, godly instruction and a faithful way of life, was passed on from one generation to the next through the influence of mothers, even though they lived in less than ideal situations, being married to men who were not particularly faithful to God.
Ladies, never, never, underestimate the power of your example and your instruction, nor the effectiveness of your prayers for your children.
How was it that first Lois and then Eunice were able to pass the faith forward to the next generation? Through the diligent instruction of their children in the Scriptures (2 Tim. -17).
Conclusion
It is a wonderful thing to be a mother, understanding that the glory of motherhood doesn’t merely consist in the biological process. After all, any healthy female can conceive a child. It’s not the biology of it that makes motherhood worthy of honor—although I must say that a woman who lovingly carries her child and undergoes all the discomforts of pregnancy and the pains of labor certainly deserves appreciation. What an incredible act of prolonged self-sacrifice!
But really it’s what takes place from that point onward that largely determines what kind of mother she is, and whether she is worthy of praise: the day to day caring, nurturing, teaching, training, loving, comforting, correcting, directing, guiding, feeding, cleaning, encouraging, etc. It’s these things, all the while setting a godly example of love and patience in devotion to Jesus Christ—here’s where we find the glory of motherhood and all that deserves to be honored.
Let us all be sure to honor our mothers today and everyday, and men to honor our wives, as the mother of our children.
And ladies, never ever underestimate the value or the importance of devoting yourself to raising your children. Being a mother really is a high and holy calling. Amen!
* Quotes of Lenin are taken from a message by Doug Phillips, The Rise and Fall of Motherhood